The Empress' New Clothes

One of my lame excuses for NOT trying to lose weight over the years has been the whole "Gotta buy new clothes" thing.  Right.  Like I'd hate to give up my size 18-20 clothing in exchange for size 14.  (that's my goal eventally- anything smaller and I'd lose my Marilyn-esque curves)

But actually, I will be sad when I no longer fit in my favorite pair of jeans because THEY FIT.  They fit wonderfully, designed for people who are shaped like me- an hourglass with most of the time run out.

I got these jeans at Lane Bryant. They now have a new sizing program for their jeans and some of their slacks.  Instead of what I used to be, I'm now a "blue 2 average"

Yup.  I'm a size 2.  Whoop!  Brilliant.

There's also "red" and "yellow" for body shapes- blue is for hourglass, red is for apple, yellow is for straight up and down.  I think.  I just look for the blue dot, so the other colors don't really enter my radar.

Lane Bryant costs more than Wal Mart.  Quality costs more than throwaway.  But I tell you what- I have never had a pair of jeans that fit as well as those do, and I'm willing to shell out $50-60 for them, as opposed to $25 for crappy jeans that don't fit and I end up hating.

That said- I really look forward to the time when I can shop at Target or Hot Topic or some other "normal" clothing store and not have to paw through the dregs of the 3 plus sized styles they deign to offer.  What's UP with that? 

Seriously- the average sized woman is now over a size 14, yet major affordable retailers STILL concentrate on the 12 and below market.  No WONDER fat women have self esteem problems- we have the choice of paying more for quality clothes or wearing ugly ass muumuus.  Sweat pants and shirts with Tweety Bird on them.  Shapeless formless blobs that someone thought would be good to use to camouflage the fact that we're bigger than Twiggy.  You know what camouflages that?  (well, besides not being bigger than Twiggy) Well tailored clothes.  Clothes that fit.  Sure- we'll never look like a size 3 if we're a size 22, but at least give us the chance to look NICE.

WHEW!  Rant off.  I think I need to go lie down.

Cornucopia

I have a lot of things I want to cover in this post- I'll try to keep the points brief, yet scintillating.

1.  Why  "Twice the Man I Used to Be" for the title?  Well, "Half the Man I Used to Be" is a song by Nirvana.  Also, in the first Men In Black movie, Will Smith's character gets into it with another cop who's, shall we say, portly.  The cop starts in on Smith, saying something like "If you were half the man I was..." and Smith interrupts with something like "I AM half the man you are.  Gotta get your tubby ass on the stairmaster."  So.  Twice the Man. 

2.  People talk about how difficult it is for them around Halloween.  Too much candy around.  Surprisingly enough, that hasn't been an issue for me this year.  I haven't been craving sweets.  I think since last Wednesday I may have had 4 pieces of Halloween candy total.  Now, we had a cheese ball witch's hat with crackers at the party at work last week and I could have eaten the whole dang thing.  What's your food trigger?

3.  GOAL POST!  Did you make yours today?  I did- just over 2 quarts of water and a 15 minute walk brisk enough to break a little sweat.  Then I rode my bike home.  I'm starting to feel a little shin splint-y, but that could be from the pre-diabetes.  Surprisingly enough they're linked.  A few more days of good walking should cure them.  (good meaning easy yet aerobic, not damaging) 

4.  I forget what my other points were.  If you wonder why, read the post from yesterday about my veggies.

Oktoberfest!

Can't catch a break.

I packed a beautiful lunch, as described in my last post.  I totally forgot that today is a "David Lunch" day, when we have a fundraiser lunch at work, with the proceeds going to a local charity.

The lunches are usually themed, and today's theme is "Oktoberfest" which means brats, bierock casserole, German potato salad, beer...

That's ok.  I can pass on the potato salOMG that's good.  Well, I usually prefer my bierocks to be individual instead of casserAHHH tasty!  The brats are non-negotiable, but I'm not eating the bun.  Seriously.  No bun.

So my yummy lunch will wait til tomorrow.  That's ok.  I already ate the fruit salad anyway- with yogurt.

Time for walkies!

PS- I didn't have any beer either.  Bud Light?  Puh-leese!

What's in your lunchbox?

I forgot my veggies.  *sigh*  I got my fruit (fresh cherries, frozen back in early summer when they were cheap and plentiful at the store) but I forgot my veggies.

One of the most frustrating things I run in to on a daily basis is my own brain.  See- I have ADD.  I've had it my whole life, but was diagnosed as an adult, about 20 years ago.  In my youth I was fortunate enough to have my non-ADD mom organizing everything.  But now... yikes.

And so I remember the cherries but forget the green beans.  Even though they sit roughly 6" apart in the freezer.

Make a list?  Sure I made a list.  It said "make lunch" not "get fruit, get veggies, get rice, get leftover bbq"  Looks like I'm going to have to go with smaller chunks on my list.  hrm.

What's in your lunch today?  Can I have some of your veggies?

And a squirrel shall lead them

Let me get this out of the way first:  the following video is absolutely not appropriate for children, and if you listen at work I will not be held responsible if HR comes down on you because your fellow employees don't like the idea of being called foul names by an animated squirrel.
 

THE CARTOON SQUIRREL CURSES. A LOT.

You've been warned.

And so...  Foamy, on Fatkins.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wn-MlHlDhHs

Ups & Downs, or I Was Called Stupid by a Centenarian

Gorgeous happy day here in beautiful Kansas.

As many of you know, we are fortunate enough to have Bo's great aunt Wyonna (Sue) living about 30 miles from us.  She just hit 99 years old in June and, while she's slowing down, she's still healthy and sharp as a tack.

Let me back up.  Last Saturday we went to a Halloween party at some friends' house.  I made Rice Krispy treats, and managed to burn the boo-jeebus out of my arm because I forgot the pot was hot.  dur.  MELTED marshmallows, MELTED butter. 

Today we went to see Aunt Sue and Kate mentioned my burn.  Aunt Sue listened to the story, then laughed uproariously, slapped her thigh and proceeded to tell me what a stupid thing that was to do.  Evidently it was a high point of her day.  :)  Not so much for me, but it was kind of funny.  I just hope when I'm 99 I'm still able to call younguns stupid.

After we got home I hopped on my bike and rode downtown.  It's about 2 miles from my house to work, and a few hundred more yards to where I wanted to go.  (brow wax touch up- I'm beginning to really like that)  Sure, I could have driven there, the car wasn't being used, but by riding my bike I got to smell the fallen leaves, get a good look at the neighborhood Halloween decorations, enjoy the crisp air.

Unfortunately, I was reminded that some people don't see bikes on the street.  I wasn't hurt, I wasn't even close to being hit, but it was yet another in a long string of "How the heck can you NOT SEE ME?" moments.

Since I think I'm going to be adding bike riding to my getting-healthy repertoire, I stopped in to Sunflower to check out headlights, rear view mirrors and tiny hot evildoers.  (long story)  I now have a Christmas wish and a mirror on order.  Yay!

Anyway- I ended up biking/walking just over 4 miles today, I feel tired and kind of sweaty (eew) but good.  Not dead, I didn't push it too far, but right now I think that just getting MOVING is a good start.

I love them.

Remember back in an earlier blog (you know- the one from this morning) I mentioned Mats and Helena? 

Well, this article is about Mats and Helena, and some woman I don't know. 

*sigh*  I love them.  I love their daughter Tova.  I don't know their son.